A couple of weeks ago my friend Marc called to wish me a happy birthday. During the conversation he told me that he is going to ask his girlfriend to marry him. For me that is awesome news especially to hear it on my birthday. He was telling me how much he loved her and how he wanted to do X, Y, Z for his lady. I told him, “That’s fine. Do what you feel God leads you to do but let me offer this. Remember to let HER do for you as well.”
“I have never really let anyone do anything for me in my relationships for as long as I can remember. I don’t mean cook a dinner but DO something like buy me a gift, take me somewhere etc. I have always been in control. I made all of the decisions be it dinner, movie, vacation, holidays. I’m getting older and I realize that all of my ideas are not good ideas for US. So let your future wife DO for YOU. Let her be your help meet as the Bible calls for.” There was a moment of silence and then he said, “CUZ!!!! I receive that.”
After we got off of the phone I reflected on the conversation and then I realized something. I wasn’t really, REALLY practicing what I preached. Yes I have relinquished “some” control but I can do so much better. As an example I planned and executed a surprise birthday party for Andrea. It was an awesome experience because I knew what she desired the most IF there was to be a party. I made sure that piece of the puzzle was intact. A few days after the festivities Andrea said to me in a very playful manner, “Don’t think I am not getting you back for this. There WILL be a surprise 50th birthday party for you in 2020.” Immediately I backed off. “I don’t need that. I am good.” She looked at me and her eyes pretty much said, “Whatever dude.”
Some more time passes and she says; “I’m thinking of themed party”. I knew it was more of a litmus test to see what I thought than a flat statement. Remembering the conversation I had with Marc I said, “Babe. Whatever you want to do I am cool with. You know me, my likes and dislikes, what I will and won’t do. I trust you to make it a happy birthday. I don’t want to know anything about the party. I don’t want to plan anything. All I ask is if we can have our wedding DJ.” She said, “Maybe but what If I get a blast from your past?” I couldn’t think of who that could possibly be so I was adamant about securing D’Cas. I have a feeling it won’t be D’Cas. LOL
As much as WE all like to dole out advice and think we are experts in life the hardest part is getting two slices of bread, smearing Nyquil on it and taking a big ole bite. I had to learn this for Andrea. In order to be a better husband and friend I have to stop trying to do everything and allow the woman God blessed me with to do her thing cause I am here to tell you, Andrea has multiple gifts and talents and if I don’t follow a basic scripture of the Bible then I am not really listening to God. What scripture am I referring to?